Weekend Top 10

In no particular order...

10. Trader Joe's opens in Portland!!  I've so missed TJ's since I moved up from Boston
9. Great dinner with my co-worker and her husband.  She's a great cook!
8. "Aunt Nancy - we're so glad you're taking care of us this weekend!"
7. watching The Sound of Music w/Emily and Ryan - and answering their questions about what was going on in the movie - I love that they're so curious
6. Taking the kids to Jokers
5. Emily putting  token in a game, realizing a little girl had been waiting for a while, and letting the little girl play the game - w/Em's token
4. snuggling with Ryan
3. "Ew Ryan, gross!  If you don't stop tooting no girl will ever want to go out with you"
2. "Today was the best day of my life...and we still have to stop for ice cream!"
1. spending Halloween at Matt's w/his family and Cathy's family - big pasta dinner and trick -or- treating w/the kiddos.

I love my kiddos!!

Today we had auditions for the 7th & 8th grade honors festival.  I had about 12 kids audition against kids from 8 or 9 other schools.  We had a new auditions format this year so, to be honest, I wasn't sure how my kids would do.  Plus, most of them were 7th graders. 
I am happy to say...THEY KICKED ASS!  I am so over the top thrilled for them because they work their butts off.  And they all need this.  Every one of those kids needs something good to happen to them.  I'm not saying all their lives are miserable -that's not true.  But you know what?  Middle School is a horrible time full of self doubt and teasing and bullying and struggling to find a balance with parents and teachers and trying to figure out where you fit in.  There are many presumed failures at this age. As a wise adult (hehe), I know these "failures" are learning moments and stepping stones.  But to an adolescent, getting a B instead of an A is devastating.  So it's so nice that they will have an absolute success.  One of my 7th graders got the only perfect score.  Another 7th grader got the 2nd highest alto score - and she's one who needs this more than some of the others.  I want to scream through the halls and call their homes tonight.  I can't even post anything of FB because nothing is official.  They will all run up to me tomorrow and ask if they made it and will be bummed to learn they have to wait until next week.  And I have to contain my excitement and play dumb.  I just want to give them high 5's and big hugs and brag about them and let their teachers know so they can be congratulated.  I know they'll get this day...but I want it tomorrow!!
I am freakin' excited for them!!!!

The Hills Are Alive

When I was in 1st grade, Greenville High School's annual musical was The Sound of Music.  With my mother as the director, my brother and I were cast as Kirk and Gretle.  I don't mean to brag, but I kind of stole the show.  Not only have I been told this...but I knew it...even at that age.  I was up on stage, and I absolutely knew people thought I was cute.  They even added a duet w/me and Capt. von Trapp - a very cute father/daughter moment.  I relished the attention all of the high school students gave me for 3 months of rehearsals.  I found my home.  That experience - at the age of 6 - solidified my love of singing.  I knew I could make people happy.  The Sound of Music also has a special place in my heart because it reminds me of my maternal grandparents.  They lived in Florida and we would visit them every spring around Easter.  It seems we always flew back home the night that this movie was on...so I have very strong memories of sitting and watching it every year with Gram and Pop-Pop before we left.  
As I grew older, I began to understand the story better.  I have always been interested in that time period in the world's history.  I  have wondered if this interest stemmed from my love of this movie.  World War II is such a horrible time in our history...but here is a touching, wonderful story of love and being true to yourself and your beliefs at any expense. It also enforces how music can help us deal with various circumstances - fear...love...boredom...happiness...confusion.  No, we don't go around singing whenever we're afraid or confused.  But we do listen to music to help us sort through things.  
The reason I'm writing about this random subject is that Oprah is having the original movie cast on her show this Thursday.  When I first hear this, I looked up airline tickets to Chicago.  No joke. I cannot wait to see Julie Andrews.  Have you ever been asked the question, "if you could spend time with one person other than family, who would it be?"?  My answer is Julie Andrews.  I adore her.  She's talented and classy and represents childhood memories to me.  Christopher Plummer...love him, but I"m still slightly intimidated by him.  I did see him in a Broadway production of the show.  I cried when he walked on stage.  
Of course Thursdays are my busiest days...kids after school, piano lesson and yoga keep me away from home until 7:30.  But you'd better believe I'll be DVR-ing it...and this program will not be deleted.  Thursday will be a frabjous day, indeed.

It's never that easy

In the past 12 days, I've had 6 migraines.  Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago where I was bragging about how many days I'd gone without one?  I guess I jinxed myself.  Lesson learned- it's never that easy.  Next time I'll keep it to myself.  It all started on that horrible week that all we females are blessed with (please note extreme sarcasm), and I didn't think much of it.  I mean I just figured Aunt Flo would always bring me an extra gift in the form of pain that has to be comparable to labor.  So I wasn't really worried that week...and then the next week came and I had a couple more and I figured I just had to get out of this particular cycle...but I'm still in it.  Thursday I went to acupuncture for the 1st time in 2 weeks and that helped - for Friday at least.  This morning was worse than it'd been since late summer. The only thing I can think of is that I tried a different brand of CoQ10.  My acupuncturist said that they may process it differently which could make a difference.  So I got another bottle from him.  Here's hoping.  Honestly, my next neurologist appt is in December, and I really think if I'm not better I may  just throw in the towel and take the Topamax.  I'm just so exhausted and irritated from these freakin' headaches.  They rule my moods...and my life. I hate the thought of Topamax but I guess I need to weigh what my priorities are.  I was lying in bed waiting for my meds to kick in and I just kept thinking how angry I was and how I was just so sick and resentful for getting migraines so often.  I mean seriously - half my life is spent with  migraines.  That is not an exaggeration.  I am at least lucky enough that imitrex gets rid of my headaches, but  it seems kind of silly and stubborn of me to be so hesitant to take something that would prevent such pain.   Why am I refusing to try what has been so successful with so many other people?  Some family/friends don't understand natural remedies...so I think I get defensive sometimes.  So maybe I"m just being spiteful and trying to make CoQ10 work so that I can prove them wrong.  I mean - I AM a Scorpio, so I wouldn't put it past me.  Anyway, I guess it's more food for thought.  I have another month and a half before my  next dr's appt.  Maybe the answer will be obvious at that point.

When it's all worth it

There are many stressful moments in teaching...like periods 2, 3, 4, & 5 when I have all 6th graders.  There are many deep breaths going on during those classes!  I mean - they're such nice, kind, helpful, enthusiastic kids. But a little on the immature side this year - they need a lot of direction and I feel like a broken record when it comes to instructions.  But they're fun.  My favorite class this year is the 7th & 8th grade chorus.  Part of this is because the 8th graders were 6th graders my first year teaching.  So they will always have a special place in my heart.  But I know them best as well.  And they know me best.  They are great kids.  One girl in particular had a rough year last year.  She was really down on herself and lacked a lot of self confidence.  As a result, she got behind on all her school work so her other teachers and parents were coming down hard on her.  It affected (effected?  I never get that rule right) her whole personality.  So at the end of the year, I sat down to talk with her and really pumped her up about singing and music.  And stressed the importance of keeping up with all her school work.  We set out a plan for this year and I told her I was going to check in with her on all classes, not just music.  When I made the off hand comment "You're not a stupid person, you just got behind and made some poor decisions", she responded with, "You don't think I'm stupid?"  Really?  I felt awful for her.  So right from day one this year, I check in with her once or twice a week about things that are not related to music or chorus.  She's feeling great about herself and she's even auditioning for the honors festival.  I'm praying she makes it so she can feel like she accomplished something great.  Well, today after chorus she came up to me and said, "Today in guidance I was asked what I want to study when I'm in college, and I said I wanted to be a music teacher like Ms. Murray because she has inspired me in a lot of ways - not just with music."  It would be at this point that my heart melts and I go to give her a hug and she said, "Thank you so much.  I love you!"  That's when it's worth it. There are many incredibly frustrating things in the education field and many times like I feel politics prevent me from doing my job well. I will never reach every kid.  I will never be able to make every kid feel good about themselves.  But man, it feels good that I got one!

Passin' the gassssssss

Picture this:  you're in your yogi zone.  Breathing deeply and connected.  You are uncharacteristically focused and somehow keeping your mind from wandering.  It's a rare yoga experience, because while you do well with the physical challenges of yoga, the whole mind thing is just WAY beyond you at this point.  So you're in your zone moving quite easily from one pose to another.  And then...you let one rip.  It came out of no where...no warning at all.  No chance to clench your butt cheeks together in an attempt to silence this embarrassing bodily function.  Nope - full force.  As if that isn't mortifying enough, the yoga instructor decides to take advantage of your gas-ness and explain that true Yogi's not only embrace gas, but encourage it.  It's only in our society that passing gas is a no-no.  And we should not be embarrassed by this body movement.  Really?  We shouldn't be embarrassed?  It might not have been quite as embarrassing if we'd all just pretended to ignore it.  But no...it becomes a learning moment for all of us aspiring yogis.  I'm so glad I could contribute to the lesson.

Updates

Migraines...I have been 3 weeks with no migraine.  It's completely unbelievable to me.  I'm relieved, relaxed, and to be honest, a little irritated that this precious NATURAL remedy has never been mentioned in the 15 years I've suffered migraines.  I try not to dwell on that, though.  Instead, I do things I haven't been able to do in years.  This week will be interesting...a little TMI, but it's the wonderful week of the month where your hormones go batty.  This is the week of the month where I have 5-7 migraines...in that one week.  Some so bad that I have to 'shoot up' the imitrex instead of just swallowing a pill.  Normally by Tuesday, I'll have at least a little migraine.  So we'll see what happens.  Fingers crossed. I have an appt with the neurologist next Monday, so I'm interested in hearing what she has to say.

Working...Friday was my last shift at Venue.  It may be my last shift at a restaurant period.  I think the messed up schedule and the pounding my feet all day and carrying dishes and trays just encourage migraines.  It's hard money to give up, but now that I've had a taste of no migraines, I'm a bit addicted to it.  So, I'll find another summer job.  The music on Friday absolutely SUCKED and of course I had to close because it was my last shift.  I was miserable...it takes a lot for me to truly not like music.  But 2 of the 3 bands that performed honestly hurt.  I tried wearing ear plugs, but they were too big and kept popping out of my ear.  Ugh.  Awful.

Chorus...I've decided to stick it out for this semester.  We only have 9 rehearsals left and 2 of them I can't go to.  So I can suck it up.  I probably won't do next semester, though.  Matt has added a few songs that are a bit more challenging and interesting, so that's good.

Yoga...I'm not going 2-3 times per week and I love it.  Period. Nothing more to say about that.

Gym teacher...we'd been emailing back and forth since my initial email.  He kept asking questions, so I patiently answered them so he'd feel a bit more comfortable going out with me.  Friday I didn't get his email until after midnight when I got home from work.  I was too tired to write back then, and I was gone all day Saturday, so I didn't reply until Saturday evening.  I haven't heard back yet, so maybe he's not interested.  I know it's only Monday...but I'm just under the impression he's not that interested.  I'm a bit bummed out, but still excited I actually took the initiative on this one.

Please continue to send thoughts and prayers to David - my co-worker's son.  She's giving us daily updates and things are about to get worse because they want to take the tubes out so he won't be sedated (something like if he stays sedated the brain will 'forget' to tell the lungs to breath).  That means the pain will get through a bit more.  Oye.  He needs a lot of prayers.


Peace.

Reminders of a good decision

I love Saturdays in the fall.  It's on these fall Saturdays that I am reminded why I moved back to Maine.  Today I was first reminded when I was walking from my car to the soccer field where Ryan was playing.  I looked up and Emily had spotted me first and was running my way screaming "Aunt Nancy - we're over here!!".  I was reminded again during half time when Ry ran off the field straight to me to give me a hug and say "Hi Aunt Nancy" in the voice that makes my heart mealt.  He always uses the same intonation when he greets me - my very own.  I was reminded once again during the second half when Emily - who is about 6 feet tall right now - came over to sit on my lap and tell me that if I marry her gym teacher my name will be Nancy Kitchin.  And once again when Ryan asked if he could ride with me over to the field where Em was playing her game next.  The car ride over was a constant reminder as he talked non stop about werewolves and vampires and gave me a play by play of the latest episode of Wizards of Waverly Place. That should be enough reminders.  But it just doesn't end there.  Arriving at Emily's game, I was greeted by their 2 year old cousin, Cameron (who I get to be Aunt Nancy to as well).  He ran right to me and gave me a huge hug and said "HI!" in the cute voice of a 2 year old learning how to talk.  How about when he unexectedly ran up to me and gave me an unsolicited hug and kiss a while later?  Or when he brought the Dunkin Donuts box to each of us asking "wanna donut" (again in that adorable 2 year old voice).  Looking out on the field, I see a beautiful almost 9 year old who is confident and friendly, and in her glory with her friends on the field.  And I can't forget about the time I get to spend with my "sisters" - because that's what they are.  I prefer to drop the "in-law" part because they are my confidants and my cheerleaders and they give me so much confidence and encouragement. All of this on a perfect Maine fall day where I have to wear a sweater and my down vest along with my danskos and knee high socks (striped of course).

An Unimaginable Pain

The other day, a 24 year old man set himself on fire in Longfellow Square.  I learned yesterday that he is my co-workers son who is clearly going through a tough time right now.  He has been for a while, but this still came out of left field for his parents.  I feel horrible and there is nothing I can do. This is what keeps going through my mind...how horrible does one have to feel to want to torture themselves to death?  I mean, it' horrible enough when someone feels they have no option but to take their own life.  But he felt like he had to inflict pain beforehand. Or...as a witness said in an interview...it's like he needed to physically show the pain he was feeling inside.  Can you imagine that much pain?  It  makes me choke up.  And now he lies in Boston, already having had two (of I'm sure many) skin grafts.  His family must talk to him through plastic, and can reach in the plastic to touch his swollen face.  He hears them, and wiggles his toes. And his mother's prayer right now is that he doesn't feel any pain.  It's days like these where I count my many blessings, and wish that others had half the fortune I have.  Why isn't it spread out more?  It seems so unbalanced at times.  Why is my family from free emotional instability?  I mean - we've absolutely had our challenges.  But they were always temporary.  And I always knew it was temporary. How'd I get so lucky?  So, if you have some thoughts and prayers to spare, please send them to David.  He has a long road ahead of him, both mentally and physically.